When Shawn and I were first married, I liked to play this game with him. I'd pick a random woman out of a crowd and say "Is my butt as big as hers?" Or, "Am I as big as her?" Sometimes, "Am I the same size as her, or am I bigger?". As we all know, this was a lose-lose situation for the innocent man I married. Shawn always answered honestly, thinking I was asking a question I actually wanted answered. Sometimes this got him in a lot of hot water. After 2 1/2 years of answering incorrectly, he got fed up and started answering his own way. "Oh, no, your butt is WAY bigger than hers." Or, "Two of her could fit in one pair of your pants." Mind you, I was choosing rather large women, so it was obviously sarcasm at play. (I think). I tired of his sarcasm and quit playing the game. I couldn't train him to answer the way I wanted him too, so I gave up. I'm sure he was elated. However, this past few months he's started a game of his own. It happened while we were watching the "Real World" together.
Shawn: Do you think that girl is big or small?
Me: Kind of big. I think the other one has a cuter figure.
Shawn: Well, you are shaped like that one girl, but you have smaller proportions.
I brushed this off and called it casual conversation. But, this happened a few more times during a variety of television shows. It all became clear to me this morning as we were lying in bed watching the Today show. A lady was on talking about holiday pet safety.
Shawn: Do you think that lady is big or small?
Me: She is small. She is a cute size.
Shawn: You guys have the same shape and size. Only your chest is bigger.
Me: I'm not her size. Right. What do you want?
Shawn: For you to know that you are her size. That's all.
I've come to the conclusion that it is possible to actually train men to say what we want to hear, and to say it at a time when it comes across as sincere. It just takes close to 13 years, and a lot of patience. Shawn's game will now have to come to end I'm afraid. Even though it's an innocent-husband-trying-to-tell-his-wife-she's-hot game, it is now faulty. I've caught on. Now whenever we watch TV I'll somehow turn it into the game I played years ago where I'm asking the questions and every answer he gives will somehow be wrong. The circle has begun again. Maybe in 26 years he'll be able to once again win at this game. Too bad my winning streak lasts longer than his. I'd really prefer him to win.
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6 comments:
I'm pretty sure if I ever asked Chris a question like that, he'd say something like, "go to hell." You get away with murder!
that is so funny ohh the games we play...
I love it--and I think it's pretty cute of him-even if it is 13 years to late!
I do this to my husband too!!! He absolutely hates it. Do you also do the brush off of compliments game? Like someone else will tell me I look good and I'll believe her, but then my husband will say it and I'll tell him he has to say things like that 'cause he's married to me. Can you imagine being married to another woman and what that would be like? Ugh!
Brian and I have similar games. The other day I asked him if he thought I had big thighs? From then on comments were thrown, "Wow! I'm surprised you could fit in between those 2 parked cars with your thighs being the size they are!!" Whenever I ask questions like that he throws out the immediate "you know I can't answer that! I'm wrong either way."
Unfortunately, I really want to know...
Give that poor man a break!! YOu know you are hot and of course he thinks you are or he would have left you years ago for all those nurses!!
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