Breakthroughs...

Yesterday when Landon woke up he removed his pacifier from his mouth long enough to say "My mouf hurt". The Mother in me knew it was due to the constant sucking and probably the shifting of his teeth caused by his beloved pacifier. I made a decision at that very moment that this was to be the day. When he handed me his precious item so he could eat breakfast, I quickly snipped the top with scissors and put it in the drawer next to the fridge where he likes it to be placed. After breakfast he opened the drawer, pulled out the paci, and put it in his mouth. He screwed up his face something funny and pulled it back out for a quick look. What he said surprised me the most. "Pacitier, bwoken." He hung his head low and in a soft voice said, "Frow it in garbage. Frow it in garbage." He sulked over to the garbage can and gently placed it in. Not throwing it like trash, but lovingly laying it to rest. Jackson was my hero when he excitedly said, "Yeah! Now you are a big boy like me!!" I sent Kennedy downstairs on a mission to find the other pacifier that would undoubtedly resurface and spoil this whole grieving process. It was quickly found and secretly placed to rest. The day was hard on my little guy. He was quick to cry, and very sensitive. Whenever he used to cry he'd automatically ask for his "pacitier", but yesterday when he'd cry he'd just repeat over and over "pacitier bwoken. pacitier bwoken" as if to remind himself that he won't ever be able to soothe himself with that object again. Heartstrings pulled. I knew I couldn't retrieve any un-broken objects because then this process would never end. He surprisingly went to bed well. Books, sippy cup filled with ice water, and the repeating of "pacitier bwoken". When he woke up this morning he was saying "Scissors, cut it. Pacitier bwoken. Scissors, cut it." He was using his two fingers to show me how scissors work. He knows that scissors cut the pacifier. I just hope he doesn't realize it was his mother working those scissors that caused the loss of his best friend. I'm sure he'll be over his grieving in the next few days. But will I? I officially caused my baby to take one of many steps in growing up.