When I taught school eons ago, I remember getting notes from parents like this:
"Please excuse so-and-so from his homework last night, the night was jam packed with activities and it is my fault he never got around to it." Or, like this: "Last nights homework was confusing to my child, so we okay'd him not to do it. Could you please help him with it in class?" I even caught a few parents actually DOING their child's homework for them. How did I know it was a parent? It was a handwriting assignment done in beautiful cursive. It was supposed to be done by a 5th grade boy. I remember being appalled at the parents for teaching their kids such a lack of responsibility. Why couldn't the kid just take the heat and get the grade he deserved for not doing his assignment? I vowed never to write a note to a teacher to get my child out of an assignment. It's not acceptable. The child needs to learn consequences. Unless of course that child happens to be MY child. The really quiet, perfectionist child that only wants to please her teacher and would never do anything to disappoint intentionally. The one that sits at the counter in my kitchen for an hour in silent tears fearing the teachers scorned look when that homework isn't turned in the next day. She broke me. My little daughter broke me. She accidentally left her folder in her desk. The folder with the homework. What could I do but write a note asking for a second chance to complete the assignment? I did mention in the note that we discussed responsibility and my child promised to never leave school without checking for her folder. I added that as sort of a justification on my part. I don't want to be THAT parent. The one with all the excuses. After school today I asked how it went with the note/homework situation. Kennedy's response? "My teacher said if I hadn't been talking then I wouldn't have forgotten to put my folder in my backpack like she'd asked." Great. Now I have to face this teacher at parent-teacher conference in October knowing that I've become one of those dreaded parents that make excuses for their children. I guess I love my child more than I do my pride.
***Mom, I still think the kids in your classes are just LAZY and not like my daughter. We are the exception, so don't think less of me for writing that note.***
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6 comments:
You crack me up--but I'm with you, the silent tears are the worst and the kids seem to know that they can wear me down with those. I can put up with a temper tantrums and screaming quite easily, but those tears are the ones that melt your heart. While she wore you down this time, I am pretty sure that you will not be THAT parent again anytime soon!
Opps-- isnt it great the awkard situations that our kids (oh i mean yours) put us in--my kids would never do that..and if you believe that than i have this beautiful bridge to sell you..
Jayne, I totally understand. When I taught I used to complain about the doctors who took their kids out of school for a week at a time to go on "vacation". Last year when Katie started school, I became one of those parents.
Whatever- I'm sure I would have done the same exact thing. And then I would have given the teacher a piece of my mind for giving my kid attitude!
On second thought, maybe I should try and calm down a little bit before Franny is old enough for me to have to worry about this stuff. :)
Ah, the silent tears. Yes, I've never experienced the mythical "silent" tears. Not yet. But the quivering lower lip? The crumpled face? Yes, they do their job, don't they...
If having kids has taught me anything it is the fact that sooner or later we all do those things we swore we would never do. Kids change everything- thankfully.
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