Saturday, August 16, 2008
Thinkin'..
This morning while I was in the shower I started thinking about the new baby we are about to bring into our home. I'm so excited to be done sharing my body with her. It's a miracle to be able to carry an entire person you've grown from scratch around with you for 9 months, but the time has come that she needs to move out. Then I started thinking about all my other babies and what it felt like to add them to this family. The birth process, that doesn't enter my mind very much. It hurts. Enough said. The feelings of overwhelming relief when the babe is finally placed in my arms with all body parts in tact. The being able to move out of the delivery room bed by myself without any 3 point turns. The 48 hours of having a nurse at your beck and call. And, they all know Shawn really well, so they treat me especially well. Nice. But, it has never failed to scare me when it comes time to check out and head home. I've felt extremely inadequate every single time I buckle that newborn into it's car seat for the first time. Reality sets in then for some reason. I'm taking this baby home. This is my responsibility. I have to figure out all the cries, and reasons for them. I am the one that needs to love this person unconditionally, along with all the rest. Overwhelming to say the least. I have vivid memories of this experience with each and every one of my other children. Walking in the door for the first time, setting the car seat on the living room floor, and then looking at the baby and thinking "now what?". I do remember that after a few days it seems like the new baby has always been a part of our family. I remember thinking how we would have missed out on so much by not adding this new child to our family. You would think that with all these memories I would be at ease knowing exactly what to expect. But. I'm also wise enough to know to always expect the unexpected. Whatever that may be.
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8 comments:
And of course you will be an awesome mommy to her, just like you are to your other four :) You couldn't be anything but that :)
You put it all into words so perfectly....once again. I found myself thinking, "after four, Jayne still gets overwhelmed?...." You are the kind of mom that I aspire to be. Your kids are so lucky!
These are such well expressed ideas.
I'm only going to have to dispute one idea that has been a lie that has been perpetuated for far too long. We share our bodies for much closer to 10 months. I never go into labor early, so I'm usually pregnant 41 weeks. I think some doctor started this 9 months myth.
I think that every mom has felt those exact same things. However, I know that you, unlike every single mom, will rise to the occasion and be nothing but great! Good luck!
i absoutly love this Post..You are a terrific mom..i always look forward to reading your blog..just remember you have friends there to help out when you need...you truly are inspriation to all of us....
ps you will do a great job with this little one also just like the rest of your kiddos.
Jayne, I think every mom knows that feeling of uncertainty and pure joy. You only need to look at your other children, and know all is going to be well. I can't wait! To hold your own gift from God. What a blessig.
I had that same car-seat buckle realization...what the crap have I done??? Hope these last weeks go well, just think only days of being pregant for the rest of your life!!!
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