No Maintenance Needs Maintenance.....

I am a no maintenance type of girl. I kind of always have been. When I'm getting dressed up it means I'm wearing mascara. No fancy hair-do's, pretty much blow and go. This worked great when I was in my early 20's. I'm slowly realizing as I get older that to maintain a no maintenance look, I need maintenance. Since I've been living in this small town I've slowly been making improvements. There are a lot of girls here who know a lot about looking good. Lucky for me, they are willing to share their secrets. When I was 30, I was finally convinced I needed to pluck my eyebrows. Sad that it took me that long to realize the necessity. I quickly moved to waxing them once a month at a nearby salon. I have to say it's really improved the look of my face. This last year I became friends with Natalie. She will be mortified that I'm telling you she knows a lot about a lot of stuff. She doesn't like to share with others, not out of selfishness, but out of fear she'll come off as a know-it-all. She simply isn't. She just knows a lot about being a girl. When she moved here she couldn't find a salon to meet her waxing needs so she took it upon herself to learn all she could in order to do it herself. I came to the realization I needed to wax more than my brows and started going to her place once a month to wax my unwanted facial hair. About a month ago it started to hit me that she will be moving away soon and her waxing station will no longer be available at my disposal. So, I dragged her 1 1/2 hours away to a Sally Beauty Supply to find all the necessary tools for me to have my very own waxing station. I had visions of a hairless body knowing full well that I was now capable of waxing myself. I had all the stuff, right?? Needless to say, I've had a few "incidents". I've had to call Natalie mid-waxing many times trying to have her fix my issue. Like when I waxed my armpit shut. That was a doozy. Baby oil works like a charm. I went back to shaving after that one. The few issues I've had have seemed minor compared to what I did a few nights ago. It was time for my lip waxing so I went ahead and took care of that. Perfection. My eyebrows were starting to look a little haggard, so I decided I should clean them up a bit. Natalie was planning on coming over later that night to watch the bachelor, so I called to see if I should wait for her direction. She didn't answer her phone. Instead of trying her cell I figured this was something I was capable of doing alone. After all, Natalie isn't going to be around forever. The bottom of my right eyebrow was a breeze. I got just enough hair to sculpt it, but not too much. My confidence got the best of me. I went for the upper brow. A little wax must have dribbled down into the middle of my brow because when I ripped off the muslin I appeared to resemble Vanilla Ice. Not the "I'm so cool with a scar in my eyebrow" Vanilla Ice, but rather the "I sure do look like an idiot with a big gap in the brow" Vanilla Ice. The picture's a little dark, but it's probably better that way. I started laughing hysterically because I realized how bad it was and knew I needed to laugh to avoid tears. I called Natalie and mentioned that there was a slight problem. Good thing good friends realize a dire situation and speed to the rescue. Natalie came in and assured me that I definitely had an issue, but nothing we couldn't work through.
N: Get out your tweezers and let's pluck those big ones.
Me: Um, Shawn took the tweezers.
N: You have no tweezers?
Me: What about surgical clamps? They might pluck some hairs?
N: I'll run home and get mine. I think we'll need the eyebrow stencils anyway.

So, she runs home to get the tools I am lacking. When she returns she draws with perfection what my eyebrows should look like.

N: Okay, now comb them up.
Me: With what?
N: Do you still have the eyebrow brush I gave you?
Me: Somewhere......oh, here it is.
N: Now that they are combed up, let's trim them with your eyebrow scissors so we can wax the rest without catching the one's we don't want to lose.
Me: Eyebrow scissors? Um.... (the closest thing I came up with were Jackson's fiskar kid scissors probably covered in glue)
N: I'll be right back.

She ran home again. Poor girl. She really didn't know what she was getting into trying to teach me how to be a girl. She returned with numerous eyebrow items and we waxed, trimmed, plucked, and made me look normal. She did an awesome job. Who would have thought that having nice eyebrows took so much equipment. I guess we need to head back to Sally's. I'm hoping that one day I'll be able to know the proper way to be a girl so I can teach Kennedy. Thank goodness for friends that have the patience of Job. That's what you need to teach me.
While Natalie still lives here I think I'll have the confidence to wax my brows myself. She does only live 3 minutes away and seems willing to save me. But, when she moves? I think I might have to start heading back to the salon.