Second Skin...

We had a family movie night Tuesday. Shawn rarely gets to participate in such events. It's never anything fancy. Just a redbox movie rental and some microwave popcorn. Sometimes a little candy. My kids love movie nights. I think it's more for the popcorn they get to eat downstairs (forbidden) than the family togetherness. But, I'll take what I can get. This week Shawn rented "Paul Blart, Mall Cop". Not the ideal family movie, but still only PG. Halfway through the movie I moved over to the chair Shawn was in and snuggled up tight against him. I watched the rest of the movie that way. It wasn't until the end of the movie that I realized I was cuddled up to him still. That sounds strange when I say it out loud, but it's how I felt at that very moment. So extremely comfortable that he seemed to be like a second skin. It made me think of all the movies we saw while dating. Only. I never was able to focus on the movie because I was so preoccupied with thoughts of "will he hold my hand?". "Now he's holding my hand. I really want to adjust because my left leg is falling asleep, but if I let go what if he thinks I don't want to hold his hand anymore?" And all the excitement that goes along with new love. I've heard people say that the fire sometimes goes out of a marriage. Especially after kids. And life gets in the way. I used to think how sad it was that I'll never get that initial spark with Shawn like we had when we were first dating. I changed my mind Tuesday night. So we don't have that electricity of newness about us anymore. We have something even better. Comfort. Security. I often know what he's thinking without him even saying it out loud. We can sit for hours next to each other without saying a word, or talking up a storm for the same amount of time. Enjoyable either way. When we are involved in "life" sometimes it might appear to an outsider that while getting dinner on the table we don't communicate. Wrong. Every time he passes me he brushes past. So I know by his small touch that he loves me. Or while I'm reaching for the ketchup I put my hand on his back to steady myself. A love touch. He's my second skin. And I'm happy with that. Crazy how such a lame movie brought all this to my attention. So thanks Paul Blart. For saving the mall. And helping me remember how good I have it.