Negative Effects.....

I figured the kids wouldn't really notice Shawn's absence. Sad, but true. They are used to coming to me for just about everything. Sometimes they go a few days without seeing him, and other times he's home just in time for family prayer and a quick kiss goodnight. I was actually wrong in my thinking. This morning Kennedy handed me a flyer for the "annual daddy/daughter dance" the community holds. Tears were streaming down her face and she was actually choking back sobs with the realization that Shawn wouldn't be around to take her. Heartbreaking. I consoled her by letting her know that when her dad was back in town they could get dressed up and go to a fancy dinner. She at least seemed okay by that. Jack has also been acting out more than normal. I've caught him saying mean things to kids, and that really isn't Jack. Not unless he's really provoked. I think we are all feeling the effects in our own way. I keep telling myself that all is well and I'm fine. However, I think I'm lonely. Don't get me wrong, I have plenty of adult conversations throughout the day. Some are quite entertaining (Natalie, thanks for the comic relief last night). But, they aren't Shawn. I'm so grateful that I have a husband that is truly my best friend and that I really like him. I think there are some people out there that don't really enjoy their spouses when they are around. Sad. In an ideal world Shawn and I would be able to stay home together everyday doing whatever the heck we wanted. Someone else would just send us money to live on so we could spend our days lounging together without the financial burden. Dream on lady. I know this will never be reality, but that is how much I really enjoy his company. I feel like the luckiest woman in the world to be married to Shawn. I just wish his job allowed him to be home more often where he belongs. I guess absence really does make the heart grow fonder.........I just don't know how much fonder my heart can take.